Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
