He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
