You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
