Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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