Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
