Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
