brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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