So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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