hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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