i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Blood and glitter go together right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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