We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
