I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
where am i from again
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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