last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
