if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
