If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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