I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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