I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Two words: nipple clamps
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