I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
