who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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