Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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