his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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