There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
