I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
