No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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