I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
