Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
