you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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