Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
