Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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