i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
