I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
