If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
