Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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