thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
