So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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