I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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