Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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