I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
