After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
