1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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