So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
