Jerry, you need to find god
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
