he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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