you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
