She is in my trunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize