i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
