I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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