Where is the hickey?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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