He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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