I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize