Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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