I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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