11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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