I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
