i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
BRING THE BAGELS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
