just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
