I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
