so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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