Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
