let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
