I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
