just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
